so it happened 2 days ago and i don’t know what to do with myself now.  Normally i’d be gearing up to pick up my girlfriend, but i’m not.  And i have to admit it, it’s weird.

I want to call but i don’t.  I am told by others not to call.
“She wants her space, so give her ‘her space’.”

It’s the worst when you’re alone by yourself.  I think about her all the time when i’m alone.  I have nothing else to think about.  I want to keep myself busy but at the same time i just want to sit around and mope.  Tonight i will go out though.  Guy’s night out… perhaps a bad idea but nevertheless, it will keep me busy.

I honestly don’t have too many people to turn to at the moment, or so it feels.  My roommate who was supposed to hang out with me today ditched me as well, so now i sit at home.  I played some video games, and then i got sick of playing.  I am going to unlock my iphone now too, since i’ve been meaning to do that for the longeset time.

Since i’m writing this blog i want it to be a log of my thoughts and feelings so i can look back on it and know how i am coping with it.  So if you’re reading this, you may want to skip this part.

This morning i woke up at 9 and i couldn’t fall back asleep for the longest time.  I laid in bed staring at the ceiling, and was just thinking about the events that had transpired.  I was pretty angry that she broke up with me over the phone.  I thought about calling her and seeing what she was doing.  I really wanted to know how she felt.  Did she miss me like i missed her?  I felt alone.  I wanted to be able to know that i could see her later.  But i can’t.  Although i feel sad, i feel alone more so than anything else.  My house is empty, and no one is calling, and i have nothing to do.  I’ll really have to find stuff to do to keep my mind occupied or the pain really begins to set it.  Everything feels heavy.

And life continues, and now i choose to move along with it or stay stationary.