I used to have a friend that would make jokes about people, actually himself, about feeling depressed and “curing” depression by going drinking. I always thought it was funny, because when people are depressed they often drink… who knows why… they just do. I just tried to.

Last night’s events led me to an incredible drunken stupor. I hadn’t drank like that in a very long time, i just kept drinking until i felt numb. At that point nothing mattered… it was kinda nice not to feel anything. I had waaaay too much to drink, to the point where it should’ve been coming right back up, but luckily i kept it down, along with the meal i had after all the alcohol ingestion.

Coincidentally, i managed to see many people i hadn’t seen in a very long time, back in my club hopping days, i’d go with them. But eventually we all grew out of that phase, but last night they were all out because one othe guys came in from out of town, so there was a mini-celebration for him. It was good to see old friends. Kinda reminded me of what life was like before, so hectic, so busy, a social blur.

We closed the bar down, and i ended up at my friend’s house where my car was parked before the night began. I ended up sleeping on the couch for a few hours to sober up and left his place at 6am, when i proceeded to drive home, groggy and i think, still slightly drunk. I got home, and immediately passed out in my bed.

Before the night began I just wanted to stay home and mope. But it’s true when people tell you to get up and go out. I had to push really hard to leave the house. I had stayed home the entire day, and i was still in my pajamas at 9 pm, an hour before i actually left the house. It was good to get out though. See old friends, hang out with new friends, and getting comfortably numb.

There were many times last night when i’d be standing there, thinking about her, “what is she doing now?” “i wonder if she’s out?” “oh man, i really do miss her.” and then someone would come up to me and put a beer in my hand. At which point i proceeded to “cure” my depression.

and so, life goes on.